Expectations

Well it seems Valentines day has come and gone. Years ago when I was little, there used to be this process of filling in valentines cards in the shapes of little hearts, anonymously, and putting them in little boxes on your school desk. Well in the box of the person you fancied.. I seemed to have retained this image and when I asked someone to bring me back a packet of valentines for the kids, I was surprised to see sponge bob ones. Now I like sponge bob, but it shows how all the commercialism is just gone mental.. What happened to the plain heart ones? Oh well

Anyway this week saw a turn of events that seem natural yet disturbing all the same. I found out two family friends had passed away.. I wasn't particularly close to them but you see these things tend to stir up old wounds and question life and its purpose. I also have noticed I still have abandonment issues! It seems so many friends and family are or have moved away. And for Christs sake I am a grown adult with my own family so why should I let such a thing bother me ? I guess it takes me back to being young again, that awful feeling.

Back to the death thing, well I have decided I am not going to anymore funerals. I just cant. So if any of you are reading this and expect my attendance to your knees up funeral, you can lick it! I just don't see the point.
Instead I shall have my own farewell to you in my head.

Also I seem to find some of my friends very contradictive. I cant really say much except it always seems I am putting my self out and it is never reciprocated. I tend to be too generous and am ealisy marred. I want to team up, others are out for themselves. One particular friend has crushed me a few times, but I know they are completely unaware of it. Or are they?


I am going to sweep this week under the carpet. I need to feel positive about the future. Spring is coming and with it, new hope and beginnings. I have heaps to get on with, that I have been procrastinating about.

And if anyone has seen my MOJO lying about can they redirect it back this way. That would be muchly appreciated.

Today I think I am going to don my tiara and get the wee ones dressed up as well. Time for some make believe.

k