trial and tribulations

Its the time of the wild west. Deep in America. I am in my 20s, or look like I am but indeed I am much older than that, very much so. I am wearing a long dress, cinched in at the waist and black boots. I am in a dark basement with a dirt floor and my sisters and brothers are with me.. My back is to them but I can feel their eyes burning into my back. My sister says I have to answer for what I have done. I take no notice yet I am fumbling with bits of trinkets from my long life i have treasured over the years. I look up and see a gap in the ceiling revealing a hole and there is space between the rafters. I fly up and toss my belongings in there. As I release my arm my sister grabs me and pulls me back down.. I turn to see them all staring at me. 'You shouldnt have fallen in love with him' one yells and the others say 'It is forbidden' I did know it was wrong, after all he was a mere mortal. The judgement was over, they all flew at me. Then it went dark. I awoke to a musty smell. I reached up my hand to feel the planks of wood hovering over me.. Little bits of earth had fallen throught the cracks in the planks onto my skin. I had no way of telling where they had buried me and for how long, but I knew I would be there for a long time.. I began to scream and claw at the wood, to an audience of nothing................................. then I woke up.

well that is just fukkin nice.. a dream like that to keep believing I do actually sleep.. because insomnia and me are sure getting close lately..

hmmmmmmmmmmm wonder what it means? anyone?

kx

EAster

Well I have heard that easter is a time for sacrifices and such.. I did none of this but now I might be laying off of the wine for a while.. haha the wine was fine but my sister gave me baileys at the end so its all her fault! I after a restless night and a dodgy tummy I think this is a good idea indeed. detox here i come. I am no longer 20 and the effects are not too good. I was a mic hog with the karaoke again , and have no recollection of how i got home.

On a positive note the house smells of chocolate, mmmmmmmmmm

Where I have sliced my finger it is starting to get a little swollen so better get out the old hydrogen peroxide before it goes all manky! not good!

My heart goes out to all my Italian neighbours also..... not much of an easter for them. :(

I cant really think of anything really important to say today.. my mind is foggy! And I am clumsy as I have already dropped about 6 things.. I need a 'bed in' film day today, but my eyes couldnt take the telly glare!

HELP!

bloody Baileys!
k

slice and dice

well today I painted./ albeit a little tipsy but i painted. I finished off bits i have started and framed others ready to go..the only problem was, I had taken down to the studio a bottle of wine and was trying to cut out panels to fit to frames. SO of course in my zealousness, not sure if that is a word but it sounds fine, I sliced my thumb up.. luckily i had a rag to had and a hello kitty plaster. not that it held back the blood flow but it looked cool.

anyway I managed to really crack on with a painting i was confused with.. if that makes sense.. I more or less let a painting guide me.. not the other way around..

I have heaps of ideas but they seldom end up as they were intended..maybe this is a sign.. i don't know nor do i care,, i let them guide me and that is that.

I lost myself tonight, i had music blaring and really lost myself.. away from all the horrible news and negative energy that seems dead set on seeking me out and haunting me. I rebelled and made myself queen, reigned supreme. Let the light shine upon me ripping my soul and revealing all, if only for a glimpse but enough to start a revolution. and enough to comfort me.

The art of conversation

Yes the art of conversation, usually best when both parties do this. I have had many friends over the years that we just drop a line once in a while and are able to be where we left off. Then there is the type of friends who never contact you and and you have to do the chasing. Perhaps I should take the hint! haha Then there is the type who you write to and ask a fortitude of questions only for none of them to be aknowledged or answered so you think why bother? Or even did they get it? I always remember hearing when I was younger the key to any relationship is communication.. now as I am older, I get it. Speculation can breed a multitude of things. Especially if you have a vivid imagination. ;).


communication problems

kx

ummmmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmm not really sure I should be writing when in this type of mood.. I feel a bit Lost the last couple of days.. Not in a new moon keep me awake kind of way..but a shattered, cold, cant be bothered kind of way. I know everyone had these sort of feelings once in a while, and I know it is a phase. Or lack of b12, which reminds me I need to take one of those..

The sun was bright today and air crisp. I am not good in the cold. I need and crave warmth.. It is like a switch that turns me on. I feel as though I just want to curl up and sleep. hibernate.

Anyway, I am gently reminded of the saying ' too many chiefs and not enough indians' when watching the news. Politicians! Why the hell do we even have them? why are most male? All they do is spend spend spend and make crap decisions. meet to have meetings, deduct, lavish, buy, waste, drink, dine, /.......secrets, sex, lies, ...... opinions........EVIL.. the lot of them. empty promises, tall stories, false hopes, gleaming smiles, pressed suits, picture perfect, stylists, waste....................I am losing faith in humanity.......

I think I need some chocolate

Through my eyes

I am left this morning wondering if I am the only one that views things in a different way? I know we all notice what is pleasing to our eyes and we have different tastes, but what about the way we see life in general? I often wonder if I am really actually here, and where is exactly here? I asked my son what had happened at school today and he went into this elaborate story of how this boy at school had a toothpaste accident and was left with a bruised eye, it wasnt until later I had realised he was talking about a spongebob show! I hope this does not mean he is mixing fiction with reality, then again it would mean he is like me! haha I tend to be a little dreamy and need to bring myself back to earth....focus....very hard..! So today I am locking myself in the studio and not coming out, well except to pee and replenish myself. I seem to have this void that just cannot be filled, will i ever be content? who knows? I have finished all my sketches and will begin on my surreal characters today. I will try and get some photos up tomorrow. Seems sunny out so that may boost my energy a bit. kx

lost and found

Well I have returned from my short but sweet trip to Canada with my daughter. We did loads of visiting and the usual holiday activities which of course made my trousers tighter on my return. I saw some old friends which was lovely and so comforting to me. I even found something I had lost along the way.

It was very cold as they seem to be having a delayed winter. It even snowed while I was there. It did disturb me to see downtown Vancouver has all but wiped out the beautiful skyline. The charm and the purity that was once there lay buried beneath the few historic buildings that remain. This is so sad to see. But it is there somewhere under the towers and vacant faces trolling Robson, I have been reassured. Only verbally mind you, because I sure as hell never saw it! The drivers have somewhat worsened as well, but I suppose that is a regular occurance with the onslate of people. The one thing by far that stood out to me was all the shootings everywhere, of course we only do shanking here! So it was a surprise for me.

I loved to see my friends children all growing and making their way in life. I was thoroughly spoilt by everyones grace and I shall miss them. Thank god for skype and the internet.

kx